I like science even though my scientific intelligence is average. Here’s a weird blog post I found on “Primate Porn”, I don’t think it’s surprising though. On Scienceblog.com someone posted about how monkeys will use a monetary system (in this case fruit juice) to pay to see other monkeys. In particular they would pay to see female hindquarters (achem, close-ups) and high status faces within a group (the cute chicks).

This post was poorly written from a scientific perspective because it doesn’t go into detail on what kind of monkeys we are talking about. I would assume chimps but? What it does demonstrate is that humans aren’t alone in paying to be perverts.

They often say that males require visual cues to be attracted to a female and then later on a relationship can develop. Women are supposedly more mature and don’t require visual cues in order to be attracted to a man–they look for the “inner man.” That’s a bunch of B.S. of course. Women look for all kinds of visual cues and if it isn’t about looks they’ll dig deeper to find out how much is in “the wallet.” If it’s not about the wallet then it’s about power. Both genders are equally shallow and I think it’s perfectly natural from a biological standpoint.

Those men and women who say that visual cues don’t matter are the ones that didn’t have their own visual cues to barter with in the first place. Let’s all be honest, people. My over-sized glasses in highschool didn’t cause women to come clamoring to me.

 I will admit there may be some exceptions to these observations, but let me know when a gorgeous, attractive woman with a perfect body joins the peace corp and marries a slug of a man who studies vaccines for a living.

Porn, I believe, is a byproduct of visual cues because obviously when the average Joe looks at a pornographic picture there is no chance in hell he will be able to hook up with the likes of Jenna Jameson or some other nude starlet. The same goes for the average Jane and those romance novel covers–rippling muscles porn.

The real question here is how do we get monkeys off the fruit juice and onto our monetary system?

Then we teach them how to surf the internet so entrepreneurs can start monkey porn sites. Monkey credit cards may not be so easy to provide though. Since primates don’t wear clothes where are they going to keep those pieces of plastic. I shudder to imagine.

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