Feb 27 2009
Last House on the Left Wimp Out?
When I heard they were remaking “Last House on the Left” I rolled my eyes. I appreciate there’s a whole new crew of horror film directors remaking classic seventies and eighties horror films–new interpretations are not necessarily a bad thing–but Last House on the Left was simply Wes Craven unloading all his sick thoughts into a film.
I own the film. I’ve been fascinated ever since I saw it in my college age years. If you’re not familiar with the movie it is the type of horror film you don’t watch with other people because it’s not really a story you enjoy. It’s a story that claws at your morbid sense of curiosity and you feel like you need a shower after you’re done watching it.
Which is why the remake will wimp out. I’m making that prediction right here and now. The first clue I got was from the teaser text on Bloody-Disgusting.com: John and Emma Collingwood are on vacation at their lakeshore house when, by a bizarre twist of fate, they give shelter to the sociopaths who have just assaulted and nearly killed their daughter. Upon discovering the truth, they exact a chilling revenge on her attackers…
The big clue here is “nearly killed their daughter.” In the original film “the daughter” dies a horrible death after being tortured and rape. The word “nearly” signals that the producers, writers and director don’t have the guts to go all the way with the victimization that ultimately leads to the revenge of the parents.
The remake will not have the shock value it supposed to have. In a time of war, a bad economy, Amber Alerts, media hype over sensational murders–this film should do exactly what the first one did. Horrify us in horrific times.
But then the first one was made by up and coming horror film makers Wes Craven and Sean Cunningham. You’re not going to get the same results. We need a young, sick mind trying to exorcise psychological demons onto an audience in order to remake Last House on the Left.
Our best hope is they make a decent horror thriller and don’t leave out the blowjob-penis-biting scene.
