Apparently this High School Musical star, Zac Efron, has his pick of roles because he’s not taking the Kevin Bacon role of city boy Ren McKormack coming to the country to show hicks how to Flashdance.

Ordinarly, I would say, “Why remake Footloose?” But Zac Efron seems right for the role. I don’t know if he has a little Bacon in him or what, but he made cornball fair like Highschool Musical “cool” as well as putting a question mark on his sexual preferences–I’m just saying, he has some very pretty eyes!

Chace Crawford is next in line to jump around a barnyard and play chicken with slow moving tractors. He currently appears in Gossip Girl and looks similar to Efron, without the pretty eyes.

Footloose is another problematic film to remake because while I’m sure the dancing and soundtrack will be great, the overall theme of the picture won’t mean anything. Our current society is not afraid of dancing. The original Footloose took place when the last remnants of misguided rural puritans were attempting to stop “the devil’s music.”

These days, the puritans have embraced the devil and are selling Christian music in all forms, from rock to rap to even death metal. And dancing is acceptable unless it’s a lapdance.

So what will the theme be? Unless they plan to do a period piece it won’t be one of rebellion. It wouldn’t be believable.

Maybe they could do a role reversal and have the parents insist on their kids learning to dance. Chace Crawford’s rogue character comes to town and helps the kids rebel and stay at home on a friday night to study programming or financial investment in order to make heap loads of money in their future careeres.

I can’t believe in parents that object to rock and roll anymore. They are so rare it’s like thinking the KKK is still mainstream.