Apparently this High School Musical star, Zac Efron, has his pick of roles because he’s not taking the Kevin Bacon role of city boy Ren McKormack coming to the country to show hicks how to Flashdance.

Ordinarly, I would say, “Why remake Footloose?” But Zac Efron seems right for the role. I don’t know if he has a little Bacon in him or what, but he made cornball fair like Highschool Musical “cool” as well as putting a question mark on his sexual preferences–I’m just saying, he has some very pretty eyes!

Chace Crawford is next in line to jump around a barnyard and play chicken with slow moving tractors. He currently appears in Gossip Girl and looks similar to Efron, without the pretty eyes.

Footloose is another problematic film to remake because while I’m sure the dancing and soundtrack will be great, the overall theme of the picture won’t mean anything. Our current society is not afraid of dancing. The original Footloose took place when the last remnants of misguided rural puritans were attempting to stop “the devil’s music.”

These days, the puritans have embraced the devil and are selling Christian music in all forms, from rock to rap to even death metal. And dancing is acceptable unless it’s a lapdance.

So what will the theme be? Unless they plan to do a period piece it won’t be one of rebellion. It wouldn’t be believable.

Maybe they could do a role reversal and have the parents insist on their kids learning to dance. Chace Crawford’s rogue character comes to town and helps the kids rebel and stay at home on a friday night to study programming or financial investment in order to make heap loads of money in their future careeres.

I can’t believe in parents that object to rock and roll anymore. They are so rare it’s like thinking the KKK is still mainstream.

Everybody seems to say Two and a Half Men is crap or it’s not funny–but we all know we watch it when we’re bored or there’s nothing else on. And despite the flat gags, Charlie Sheen and Jon Cryer are a perfect team up. Maybe it’s because they’re both John Hughes alumni.

That’s not why I’m writing this post. I haven’t tuned into the new season up until tonight so I’m catching up on the fact that Charlie is now engaged to “Chelsea.” And Chelsea, at least in this episode, is about to bust out of her shirt. That girl looks like Courtney Cox with a huge rack!

Her name is Jennifer Bini Taylor. She’s done a lot of TV appearances including Charmed and Ghost Whisperer (where she could give Jennifer Love Hewitt’s cleavage a run for her money.)

I just want to congratulate Charlie Harper on picking his wife-to-be based on her personality and charm. I’m sure it had nothing to do with her big boobs.

As for that “half man,” hopefully he’s still short enough to get affection from older women who think he’s “adorable” and bend over with their boobs in his face. Once he starts showing too much age he’ll just creep out hot babes like Jennifer Bini Taylor.

In NewsRadio that is. This post is for those who watched the show. I revisited the series on Netflix and I’m not sure I ever saw the first couple of episodes. In the second episode entitled “Inappropriate” the entire storyline is about the affair between Dave Nelson and Lisa Miller. That always surprises me a little because I thought Dave Foley who plays Dave Nelson was gay. I guess he’s just Canadian.

Lisa Miller played by Maura Tierney reminds me of Pam Beesley in The Office, if she weren’t so assertive. Pam Beesley by the way is played by Jenna Fischer. She may come off somewhat reserved in the series but in Blades of Glory she went seductive and looked pretty damn hot in some tight lingerie.

Back to Phil Hartman who played the arrogant Bill McNeal. On the sitcom he co-anchors the news with Catherine Duke, a very attractive but smart news lady who happens to be African American. She’s played by Khandi Alexander who you may now recognize as starring in CSI Miami. Bill takes both Dave Nelson and Lisa Miller aside at the end of the show to discuss why he’s not getting along with his co-anchor for the length of the episode.

Dave asks him what’s going on and Bill says that he and Catherine had an office romance several years back. Since then they’ve always been arguing and taking cheap shots at each other. I found that little tidbit wildly out of place with the nature of the characters.

Bill McNeal doing it with Catherine Duke is the most unlikely coupling since…well, Dave Nelson and Lisa Miller. But I guess, unlike sleeping with African American Men, once you “go black” you do go back–because men are dogs who want to sleep with every race out there.

I’ll keep watching the rest of the season. What I would have like to have seen is Phil Hartman kiss Khandi Alexander–to see how awkward it would have been. It’s hard to separate Phil Hartman’s schtick from his real persona. How a woman wouldn’t start busting up laughing while kissing him I’ll never know.

The 40 Year Old Virgin is a funny movie. One of my recent favorites after seeing it in the theater. But the problem now is that every time I buy an action figure or graphic novel, my wife says: “That’s something the “40 Yr-Old Virgin” would buy.

Alright, I get it. Symbolically in the film Andy Stitzer replaces sex with hobbies, including collecting action figures or “toys” from hit TV shows and movies. He had a friggin’ Bionic Man doll for christ’s sake. I would love to have that in my collection.

Does that mean only virgins collect this stuff? I don’t think so. I actually didn’t start collecting action figures until I got laid. Previously, my virginity was related to prudish religious confusion.

And while I’m not a die hard collector I do enjoy buying what I consider to be a souvenir from movies I like. I picked up a Bumblebee action figure from Transformers, Grendel from Beowulf, and Watchmen figures from the latest comicbook adaptation. They remind me of a good experience in the theater and frankly I think they will grow in value over time. I’m not really doing it for the sake of value, I like having them around my office. It’s nostalgia, similar to women who collect Hummel figurines or decorative plates. And if you think Hummels are superior, think again. It’s just old pop culture.

I believe there are numerous smug wives out there who think the same way my wife does. The question is–how did we get into your panties?

The other question is, the next generation of girls is just as geeky as we are. They’ve been raised on Manga and video games and it no longer surprises me to see them buying comics and action figures themselves.

It’s good to NOT be a virgin. However, that doesn’t mean we have to give up our hobbies. Are we so naive to think that sex takes up so much time that we can’t enjoy trivial pleasures like reading comics and snatching up the latest “toy”? Fact is, you can combine reading a comicbook and sex if you use the right position.

I only watch the National Lampoon releases when I’m doing an activity where I only have to partially concentrate. I basically give them as much attention as went into writing the script–usually very poorly done, even for formula films.

Cattle Call from 2006, oddly enough has some laughs. It may not have turned out that way if not for the acting abilities of Diedrich Bader and Jonathan Winters. You really know when you’re watching true comedians when they can take mediocre writing and use their characterization and adlibbing skills to bring out the laughs.

I wasn’t even aware that Jonathan Winters was alive, but he plays a Thomas the Hollywood studio tour guide who was formerly an “important director.” It’s not the main scene in the movie, but to hear him talk you have to wonder if he’s basing it on some real people who have fallen to all time lows in their movie-making careers. I was cracking up all through his bit.

Diedrich Bader, who you may know from the classic Office Space and The Drew Carey Show, plays a truly weird individual who becomes obsessed with Nicole Eggert’s character. Nicole has seen some better days, she looks like an aging stripper–or “barmaid wannabe actress” which is what she plays in the movie. I guess you could say she’s a MILF to some extent, but for some reason she looks unnatural.

Diedrich though is in prime form. For a lousy Lampoon movie he is still entertaining.

Normally I can recommend National Lampoon flicks for pointless nudity. Cattle Call doesn’t have the prime flesh though, it’s more for comic effect than for the required T&A. And I guess that’s refreshing since I started watching the movie to see what Diedrich’s character would do.

I can’t say that this is a hilarious movie. It’s a time killer. You may want to watch it on cable or even when they might show an edited version on Comedy Centralfor a couple of laughs in the beginning of the film. Just watch Jonathan Winters’ scene and fast forward to Diedrich lusting over Nicole Eggert in a quiet psychopathic geek manner.

If they had punched up the script this NL movie could have been a sleeper hit. You would think with all the effort it takes to put out these movies the Lampoon guys might do some script rewrites. The acting talent is there in this instance. Why not take advantage of it?

Originally I was trying to some research on exactly who writes the copy for the Netflix slipcovers. Sometimes they’re word for word verbatim from the DVD cover and sometimes there seems to be text that someone wrote on the spur of the moment with odd comments. I figure they must have a bunch of college students typing away in a forgotten warehouse with broken windows–the kind you see used for drug deal showdowns.

But then I came across this article called: “Why Do Great Movies Get Awful DVD Cover Art?” . And the author does some interesting comparisons between the original movie poster art and the later DVD cover art. Generally speaking, the poster art is almost always better.

The author noted the issue may be the royalties requested by the designer and therefore the studio redesigns the cover using a flat fee contract to get out of paying more money for the DVD release.

That’s certainly one reason. I would say another likely reason is the marketing department gets involved in order to sell the DVD on the shelves of a variety of outlets. Each cover represents a different point of sale. The DVD cover sold at Best Buy may be different than the one sold at Walmart. It could be the difference between a target audience of single male shoppers and family shoppers.

A good example are the Bond DVD covers which have had their sexuality toned down. Remember the infamous For Your Eyes Only poster art and subsequent VHS cover? We looked up at Roger Moore from between the crotch of a Bond Babe. That’s now been edited so that we only see Roger Moore pointing his gun.

The other issue is that when movie poster art is reduced to DVD cover size it may not have the same effect. The details and symbolic imagery can be lost. Thus, the marketing department decides to sell the DVD with close-up pictures of the actors which can catch the attention of drifting shoppers.

The article also argues that some people are DVD collectors and therefore the DVD art is just as important. I have my own collection of DVDs, but I hate to burst the collecting bubble by saying that DVDs will be no more collectable than VHS in the future.

I remember back in the day when a local video shop was selling rare VHS tapes for up to 200.00 in some instances. I would hate to be the person who made that purchase only to have that rare movie be rereleased on a cheap DVD by some company who bought up all the rights to forgotten movies.

VHS cover art and some of the novelty DVD covers may be collectable in the future–it’s hard to say. DVDs in general I think will be archaic. I believe that eventually all movies will be available online and kept on servers. In other words, they won’t be tangible.

And all of those DVD collections will seem pointless and a waste of money. Already, the bonus features of DVDs are shown on TV. I don’t think there will be anything special about retaining a DVD when you can go to a website, point and click and play it on demand.

Am I that old? Is every popular movie from the eighties going to get a “reboot.” This time it is Nightmare on Elm Street, a retelling of the first movie without Robert Englund in the child molestor role.

This time the casting director has a problem. Unlike Jason from the Friday the 13th reboot who can easily be replaced by a tall, bulky extra who can run around, use various sharp tools and cock his head to the side occasionally, Freddy had a personality.

That horror persona was created by Robert Englund, who without the make-up is a friendly looking geek–I keep picturing him from his timid character in “V” the alien invasion series.

After watching the video from LatinoReview.com posted on aintitcool.com it appears that Freddy will have more bite and less personality. Are we going to get another run of the mill slasher?

I don’t know. I’m trying to be optimistic about these “reboots.” Good films are always remade at some point. But the producers again have the chance to expand the story and character and it sounds like we’ll get more of the same of what they did with Friday The 13th–which was technically superior but lacked substance and a story.

Sigh…double sigh.

This video is everywhere. Hustler has a hit on its hands by parodying reality TV. The Kardashian family isn’t impressed though. Appearing nude in Playboy is acceptable but Hustler goes too far for Kim and her ass I guess. It’s not like she doesn’t have a sex tape already out on the net showing everything. Why would a parody matter?

The title of the video is “Keeping it up with the KardASSians”–get it? Clever pun on the ass, achem, yes. It was an obvious parody title–and it made me smile, dammit!

According to TMZ.com, the Kardashians (does anyone else think they sound like they should be an enemy ship in Star Trek?) will be taking legal action against Hustler. What that means is Hustler is destined to make a boatload of sales from the publicity. And a parody is a parody–there’s nothing they can do except waste the time of some of Larry Flynt’s lawyers.

I don’t know if this video is worth buying. Once it’s on the market, clips of it will be posted everywhere on the internet. I do have to give props to Hustler for doing this. Porn needs to go back to being creative, put some fun back into the sex. It’s all so cheap and unoriginal for the most part–guys may just go back to having sex with their wives…I said “may.”

She says she kisses girls, but we all know she’s full of it. The latest report is that Miss “Hot ‘n’ Cold” is kissing Josh Groban.

Groban is known more for the operatic end of things versus Perry who is pop with a tease and a bunch of lyrics about homosexuality.

I kind of wonder how many guys have tried asking Katy out simply because they thought she did kiss her own sex? We have yet to see the evidence and I think everyone was fooled into thinking this former Christian singer was dangerous. She’s cute, but her danger level goes hand in hand with what she thinks she can sell to the public.

Her cleavage though, seems to be showing more these days–apparently she’s influenced by Jennifer Love Hewitt (”I kissed a ghost, and I li-iked it). Maybe that’s where Groban found the attraction. Those opera ladies like to push their busts up into their faces.

A nice pair goes a long way in opera.

Entertainment Weekly is reporting that Cheech Marin is getting married to Natasha Rubin. If you don’t know who Natasha Rubin is she’s a classical pianist.

Cheech, if I have to remind you, is the guy who built his career on drug humor and crass jokes about sex and farting. He’s also the guy I vividly remember from Quentin Tarantino’s Dusk Till Dawn yelling out the varieties of “pussy” to be had at the bar.

I love Cheech Marin, he is the epitome of lowbrow humor. And at 62 he is getting some young high class ass. Natasha seems to be everything he’s not. She’s from Russia, classically trained through rigorous instruction, and not prone to telling fart jokes to earn money. For all I know though, she has a dirty sense of humor–wouldn’t you have to with Cheech?

I say good for the Mexican-American Comedian we all love and who has now mainstreamed himself by voicing characters for Disney Animation, appearing in Nash Bridges as a sidekick cop, and becoming a well known art collector.

Not bad for a guy who if he weren’t famous would probably offend most women and be doing jail time for possession.