I noted earlier when I posted “Obsessed with a White Woman” that this movie could be a big hit because it was a white on black crime–or rather a white woman hitting on a married black man was sure to get a black woman pissed.

What I didn’t note is that after watching “Obsessed” that this is NOT a horror movie (as some critics have called it) or even a suspense thriller. It’s an action movie.

All we are waiting for in the movie is for Beyonce to kick some “skinny white ass.” That’s it. To be honest, I’m not even sure Ali Larter’s character “Lisa” did enough to deserve to die? Yes, she hit on Derek, tried to commit suicide in his bed, and she tricked her way past the babysitter to cuddle with their kid, but beyond that? No dead pet rabbits in the boiling water.

This is a tame Lifetime movie of the week and the suspense is lacking. When it came time for the showdown though I heard the women in the audience get riled up like men at a sporting event. And it dawned on me that all of the movies we think are female action movies–like Lara Croft, Tomb Raider–are really just more action movies for guys. What women need are action movies where there’s something emotional at stake–like a woman hitting on their man at work.

So I propose a whole new string of female action movies with the likes of Beyonce, Tyra Banks and maybe even Oprah–oh and if you want a white woman then Nancy Grace. All one has to do is take a show topic and turn it into a script: “My best friend slept with my fiance.” Then all the script has to do is leave room for a bitch fight at the end so the audience can hoot and holler, “Grab her hair!” “Gouge her eyes out!” “Remind her she’s over the recommended Body Mass Index!”

I kid, but it’s true. Domestic action movies where the plot stays close to home could be a new genre. If you’ll notice, the leading man did not give into temptation unlike Fatal Attraction. Which is why men didn’t really have much emotion invested in Obsessed. “Hey, we’re innocent. Let the girls fight it out.” Plus there wasn’t any nudity anyways, so I don’t advise this as entertainment for men to begin with. Only the last fifteen minutes are worth seeing.

The rest of the picture is for women who can’t hold their tongues–like my wife and one of her friends, and frankly all of the other women behind me that I kept hearing whisper comments.

SIDENOTE: Did anyone notice that there was no confirmation that “Lisa” slept with Derek when she drugged him? What was the purpose of her taking that action. Now that I think might have been justification for a final death. Basically raping Beyonce’s man. I think there must have been some big discussion behind the scenes and parts were edited out which would have made the film more vicious.

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