If you saw “Drag Me to Hell” you know it’s a fun ride, though not particularly original with the plotting. I wrote a review of it for CDInsight.com.

 What I didn’t make note of in that mostly favorable review was a mention of a scene that must have been cut. When Christine, played by the very innocent looking Alison Lohman tries to visit the Gypsy woman that put a curse on her, she runs into a family member who says something to the extent, “You were a fat girl once?”  Christine shamefully agrees.

 In another scene, she looks at an old picture of herself winning a contest for what looks to be the “best pig.” A literal pig that is, she was raised on a farm. This was one of those small town fairs where they award prizes from pies to Bob Ross imitated artwork.

And lastly, whenever Christine has a run in with a ghost, she becomes depressed and starts eating.

 So what I’m asking is where is the “fat scene”? This is a hell of a lot of foreshadowing for some terror to befall her. I was anticipating that part of the curse was for her to start gaining weight slowly or gain weight all at once in an embarrassing moment in front of friends or co-workers. It never happened.

You’ll have to try hard to convince me that the “fat girl” references were just for character building. I think Sam Raimi had something planned and it got cut or the studio execs said “no” for some reason or maybe even the MPAA said the scene had to go or no PG 13 rating.  I realize I’m bordering on a conspiracy theory here, but why all the fat remarks?

According to Times Online Raimi did have “final cut.” I’m guessing the fat girl scene may have been written out at some point because it wouldn’t work. I still would like to ask the director though…

I flipped onto Encore and started watching First Knight which I originally saw in the theater back in 1995 and then again from the local video rental store. It’s not a the best rendition of the King Arthur theme, but it’s entertaining enough and I’ll watch almost anything with Sean Connery in it. Richard Gere is a little annoying as Lancelot, but then I always find Richard Gere a little annoying in movies even though I like many of the movies he’s in.

The female lead of the film is Julia Ormond. An actress that was given several large roles around that time period starting with Legends of the Fall where she cut her hair and blew her brains out for Brad Pitt.

For some reason her career never took off like it should have. Possibly the movies she was cast in were subpar except for Legends of the Fall where she was overshadowed by Pitt. One hit with bad choices afterwards have done in a potentially big career before. It’s a tricky road for any actor or actress.

For myself, I had a crush on her once I saw Legends and then subsequently First Knight and I even tolerated Sabrina (with Harrison Ford) which probably shouldn’t have been remade (it’s not bad, just not necessary).

The thing is, even with the subpar film roles Julia Ormond always stood out. I thought she was charismatic and had a beauty not felt in other would be starlets. It was disappointing to see her fade away from the limelight after Sabrina.

Not that she disappeared. She made a wonderful low key mystery called “Smilla’s Sense of Snow” which showed she was able to hold a film on her own without having a male lead beside her. While recognized by critics, it was not a huge hit at the box office.

It’s too bad Hollywood is a business and that number crunchers and marketing departments ultimately make decisions on who will be cast in what. I think we missed out on Julia Ormond as a huge star who should have been put in progressively bigger roles with more onscreen responsibility.

I am not one to think copyright law on the internet is a straightforward, black and white policy, much to the chagrin of media lawyers. There are gray areas because the internet is not just about corporations, it’s filled with people who want to share what they think is “cool” much the same way they did before there was an internet. Only now, they can share what they think is “cool” with more people.

But I was surprised to see FHM Online post a collection of sexy gifs with well known actresses so I’m questioning if they somehow got permission or if they believe, the same as Facebook and MySpace users, that the gifs are for personal enjoyment to post on personal pages…except FHM is a for profit site as well as a for profit magazine.

That means if they didn’t get permission for the images they may be more vunerable than the geek who shows off his own collection on a not for profit blog.

Regardless, if you want to check it out I’ve always loved looped Gifs highlighting T&A. It’s the kind of silly fun that will be associated with the nineties web page. In the future, due to broadband speeds increasing, will start to see longer and longer clips. Looped Gifs may be archived under “internet nostalgia.”

I just wrote a post for CDinsight.com about US Magazine breaking the news on their decision to cast Chace Crawford in the Ren McCormack role originally played by Kevin Bacon.

Upon looking through all of the news I’m getting a sinking feeling that the Footloose remake will be an actual “Musical.” Maybe I have a bad memory, but I don’t remember Footloose as a musical–they just danced alot.

 Sure, there was a memorable soundtrack, but it was Kenny Loggins singing not Kevin Bacon.

The reason I’m suspicious is the director they chose for the project is Kenny Ortega, yeah, the guy who directed High School Musical. And we wonder why Zac Efron was originally up for the role.

More evidence is garnered by Zac’s reason for dropping out of the remake. He says he didn’t want to do another musical.

I’m not saying Footloose will make a bad musical, but the original eighties version was about dancing as a form of protest against traditional values. I think a “musical” version where everyone inexplicably breaks out into song is not really in keeping with the original mood of the eighties version.

But what the hell. They’re butchering all kinds of movies now. At least the reboots are working out pretty well because they’re simply using the original movies as inspiration and then starting their own storylines. Let’s face it Star Trek was incredible. Maybe they should make a musical out of that one?

On a sidenote, I’m not sure the rebellion against the preacher’s traditional values will be quite tame. Footloose was very innocent to begin with on that note, but I also say that because Kenny Loggins is very much a Contemporary Christian artist these days. He’s not going to lend his name to a movie that makes the Lord look bad.

CCM has nothing against dancing so I’m surprised that Fox Faith Films didn’t snatch up the rights. They could have easily Christianized the entire story.

There I said it.

I didn’t vote for John McCain either. I was so disgusted by the bailout proposals that I said to hell with both of them. It didn’t really matter to me who was in The Whitehouse as long as it wasn’t George Bush.

The reason I post that is because every once in awhile I get comments that seem to think I’m some sort of hippie liberal because I’ll take a jab at war propaganda rockers like Kid Rock or homophobe models like Miss California.

A note to what I can only presume to be defensive Christian leaning conservatives–not everyone who disagrees with you is a liberal.

Some of us “moderates” could even be true free market conservatives who are sick of religion being used to gain votes or make policy.  Where’s Barry Goldwater when you need him? (Oh yeah, long since dead).

I lean Libertarian even though I’m hesitant to call myself “Libertarian” because it offends the core group of the Libertarian Party. That said, I’m sick of Christians acting like they own conservatism. Most of them don’t even know what it means. And most of them supported Bush who increased government and didn’t shrink it, then act like kids trying to change the topic to some liberal fat cat who did the same as Bush as if that lets Bush off the hook.

So if you want to imply I’m a liberal, you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. You’re being lazy minded and not addressing the opinion, just dismissing it because somehow all liberals are wrong.

They aren’t. Liberals can be very much right on many things just as any party can be. No one is ever 100 percent wrong or right…unless you believe life is a holy war and all ideological enemies must be defeated.

To end this response to the Christ-lovin’ conservative user comments, I’d like to say that Carrie Prejean is a blonde ‘tard and that Barack Obama is a homophobe underneath all the carefully worded opinions he gives on the subject. Happy now?

I think the Carrie Prejean Miss California controversy is overblown, but that’s what usually happens when a public figure makes a homophobic remark. And she’s just too easy of a target.

Per Reuters.com here’s what she said recently: “I believe no one should be silenced if they are speaking from their heart. I am a model. I am a Christian.”

Not since Kathy Ireland became a pro-life Christian has a model stood up for Jesus Christ more proudly and asserted the moral majority stance. Good for you Prejean.

 Is this what religion has come to? Or rather Christianity since many mainstream Christians take offense at the word “religion” because it’s so impersonal. Let’s put aside the fact that both Kathy Ireland (before and after her conversion) and Miss California were leading young boys into lustful thoughts and generous amounts of time spent in the bathroom. Standing up for Christ used to mean you studied the Bible and witnessed to the heathens and suffered for it–you didn’t parade around on stage in a bathing suit in order to win cash and prizes.

The Miss USA Pageant and other pageants can dress themselves up as wholesome opportunities for pretty girls, but most of us are not fooled. These contests are strictly about what’s “on the outside” and not about what’s “on the inside.” Otherwise, why do we need to see them in bathing suits? How about just the evening wear? There are some big-boned women who still look good in an evening gown. Hell, I always prefer a pretty girl in a pair of jeans and T-shirt, laid back and casual on a summer day.

I’m not against the Miss USA pageant, I just like to be honest about it. If I’m watching it I’m not interested in what the girls have to say about politics, social issues or peace. I’m interested to see their dimensions and who beats out who because of what they got to show. And most women are wanting to see that too in order to judge them–tearing down their own gender with catty remarks is definite sport with some women.

Carrie Prejean thinks she’s being persecuted for Christ and conservative evangelical organizations are supporting her misguided ego while dismissing her topless shots. She’s not being persecuted, she’s making an idiot of herself. It’s admittedly great entertainment, but I would think most Christians would be embarrassed. There’s Christian sports stars, Christians film stars, Christian rock stars, and now Christian models. It’s good to know Jesus favors the pretty people to spread his gospel as they gain fame and money in his name.

TV Evangelists are no longer necessary. We have a whole new line of Christian celebrities that will bring the mounting hypocrisy.

Awhile back, before the release of Wolverine, I wrote about whether I thought Ryan Reynolds was a good choice for any action movie.  And while he had a small part this time around he seemed to pull it off–though was that him at the end with his mouth all sealed up?

Regardless, that’s not why I’m writing this post. If you saw Wolverine you saw the final fight sequence where Mr. Sideburns himself boasts his blades and then Deadpool slowly lets his own blades out. EXCEPT! They’re sword blades hidden within his arms.

I’m no scientific genius but doesn’t that present a problem? If the sword blade runs the length of his arms he wouldn’t be able to bend at the elbow? It doesn’t make sense unless there is some absurd explanation like the metal forms at the tip of his fist, otherwise inside his arm it is liquified. But then if that blade is made of “Adamantium” it would mean that Deadpool’s insides would have to be on fire to keep it melted. I suppose anything is possible since he is a combo mix of all the mutant powers Stryker wanted to put into him.

Maybe there’s a comicbook geek out there that could answer this one. I consider myself fairly geeky but I’m not up on the original Wolverine history or the Deadpool history.

Suffice to say, logic doesn’t matter. Ryan will be back in The Deadpool spinoff movie. Considering that he got his ass kicked by two mutants I’m not sure what the storyline will be (I assume it will be a prequel to the prequel we just saw). I do say congrats to Ryan. I like the guy, but I think he still has a ways to go before he proves himself as an action star. He still feels like a smartass sidekick to me.

It’s bothered me ever since I got on the web and started posting my cartoons begging for attention that some of my success with public acknowledgement got me zip in the financial department. The reason being is that while particular websites highlighted my work they didn’t give a share of ad revenue.

This is going back to 2000. Currently we have community blogs that allow revenue share like Today.com and while you’re not likely to get rich, but you would get a nice chunk of change if one of your pieces received a surge in traffic. When you create something extraordinary you can at least profit from it.

One of my oddest successes was a small flash cartoon done right after 9/11 called The Taliban Women’s Revolt. Originally I was paid for the nonexclusive rights to the Flash toon by a client who specialized in the kind of content you would have to turn the safe search off on Google Images to see. The amount: 250 bucks. Not too bad.

Since I still retained the rights for The Taliban Women’s Revolt I figured I might as well get some publicity for my time waster site Swensonfunnies.com . As I mentioned, I was begging for attention. So I submitted the animation to Newgrounds.com, Ifilm.com and several smaller video sites. The views soared from there and the toon has well over 2 million hits.

But that 2 million or more hits meant nothing except some positive feedback, “Hey, that was funny, animate some more like that.” Where was my share of the ad money that resulted from all of the views to the cartoon?  Nothing.

I’ve been thinking about how much money the average user makes MySpace, Facebook and smaller social networking sites simply by hanging out and creating content in the form of user pages, blog posts and images. It’s in the billions I’m sure. Where’s our cut?

At least YouTube gives its video makers a cut of ad share revenue off of clicks when they have their videos posted. It’s honestly not a lot unless you have a YouTube show that is soaring in the ratings, but it’s something.

I guess the smart web entrepreneurs made money off other people while I was busy just being an artist. I was never a business person and have only now since grasped how much artists and writers lose to companies who simply manage content and find ways to get people to do it for free. Social Networking is increasing in benefits to those who can steer it but the steering will increase in difficulty the larger these social sites get.

The days of the individual website may be numbered. They may be feel like nineties antiques as social networking sites exponentially grow their content to overwhelm the web. It’s a blessing and a curse.

All I really want is to go back in time and demand my share of the loot for those 2 million hits to my Flash cartoon.

Kitchen Nightmares is good TV, but I can understand why it’s not as popular as competition cooking. Hell’s Kitchen will always top the list for American audiences. It’s reality TV with the boss you never imagined could exist.

I don’t doubt that Ramsay has a temper and that he has an humongous ego, but when you watch Kitchen Nightmares you do see another side of him. He’s brutally honest with all of the restaurant owners and staff, but speaks softly in comparison to his outbursts on HK. I’ve always suspected that Chef Ramsay yells at the HK competitors to fine tune them through stress as well as keep a captive TV audience. Some viewers watch him because they think he’s a bastard. I think he’s a bastard with a purpose.

Going back to Kitchen Nightmares, if you watch the episode where he visits “Finn McCool’s,” a hometown family-owned Irish Pub, something happens that I’ve never seen in any of the episodes: he throws up. 

I’ve seen him spit out food before, but this was wretching. He ran to the bathroom and unless they added sound effects he was sick. What he ate was the Shepherd’s Pie, and it was not good. If you’re serving Gordon Ramsay you should anticipate him tearing your cooking apart–but making him throw up. That’s embarrassing.

Surprisingly, Ramsay didn’t come back out of the bathroom cursing his head off. He kept his cool and proceeded to steer the family in the right direction to turn their pub around. And he taught the cocky young chef who needed a good kick in the ass, how to make a real shepherd’s pie. It brings a tear to the eye. 

I’m not sure a lot of people don’t understand genius, because it has a temper. They take offense instead of paying attention. Genius demands perfection to the point of being unrealistic. I’m not a cook, but I would choose Chef Gordon Ramsay as a boss in whatever profession I was working in because while you’re going to be shouted at for mistakes, you’ll also be rewarded when you come out of the fire. You will end up being better at your career and better equipped to survive the brutal competition of the job market. I’ve had too many bosses who had no pride and never really “led” their employees. They settled for mediocrity.

I would have to say I’m guilty of mediocrity too. HK and Kitchen Nightmares have inspired me to do better… but after I make myself a sandwich–a damn near perfect sandwich!

I’m a King of Queens fan, no apologies. I discovered the show in reruns. True, it’s not the most original writing (kind of like an updated Flintstones), but I grew to love the characters because much like Carrie and Doug, my wife and I don’t have kids either. And you’ll notice as a result, several of the episodes have the couple desperately looking for friends.

When you’re out of your twenties, stuck in the cycle between home and work, friends aren’t as easy to make. Couples with kids have all kinds of functions to go to where they meet other couples. They strike up conversations, help with kid birthday parties, trade sitting with the kids, and basically anything related to the damn kids.

When you don’t have kids, but you’re married what do you do? You can go to the bar, but really a bar is for picking up the opposite sex. The best you can do is have a drink, get hit on, show the ring and go home. It’s more awkward then fun.

There’s church, but that isn’t an option for me and church is much like school. If there’s no kids in the Sunday School Class then all you have is the sermon, the polite coffee afterwards where you try to find couples without kids (very hard to do at church) and then go home.

In one particular episode of King of Queens, the situation gets so bad that Carrie and Doug go out scouting for friends.  Their usual buddies, Deacon and his wife, made other plans with “new” friends they could relate to better and left them alone on a Saturday night. Where do Doug and Carrie end up? Picking up couples at a hardware store. That’s desperate.

In another episode of King of Queens Doug is the only one not invited to a barbecue by the new guy at IPS. He can’t understand why anyone would not like him. Carrie too, discovers that everyone in the office pretty much doesn’t like her (or is scared of her). Doug spends the entire episode trying to worm his way into a BBQ invite and Carrie sucks up to everyone in the office with gifts and favors. Of course it all blows up in their faces in the end because there was no sincerity. Friendship didn’t matter, they just wanted to be liked.

 I often wonder how people do it. I like people and generally speaking I’m friendly, but I don’t go looking for friends or care about attending barbecues. Friends take up a lot of time and so if you are loved by everyone you will most likely not have any time for yourself. They will eat it up with requests. If that’s for you, then go for it.

My preference is for maybe one friend to hang out with occasionally and then a couple of online buddies to exchange topical information with. I’m not great on the phone, but I’m good with email and IM. I think it’s because I have a hard time putting forth insincere conversations like, “How’s the weather?” And I don’t follow sports much so that one gets killed once someone asks if I saw the game.

Ultimately though, I relate to the most common scene in King of Queens: Carrie and Doug relaxing in bed with each other. Does anyone else ever wonder how Carrie prevents herself from being crushed to death when they make love? I’m not sure I need anyone else other than my wife–except when she pisses me off. It’s the people you really care for that can make you the angriest. Ahh, love.