Ever see one of these ads above? You wouldn’t think it was aimed at girls. Those are some pretty damn full breasts. It makes guys want to click on over to a “dress up” avatar site like IMVU.com.

I don’t necessarily like to use the word “slutty” because I think it’s fine for women to dress sexy, but preferably if they’re over 16 (at least). 12-14-year-olds give me the creeps when they wear adult clothing and too much make-up. The only reason I’m calling these dress-up dolls slutty is because of the advertising. And I have proof below that I’m not the only one to think so…

…See, the name “Slutty” is already taken.

I’ve always suspected that women are attracted to products and magazine covers which feature other women exposing themselves. Otherwise, why is there no difference between Maxim Magazine and Cosmopolitan? Young girls are going to want to play with dolls with perfect breasts, a thin waist and glutes you have to buy from a surgeon. I don’t if it is good for a girl’s body image to indulge in such unrealistic body types, but I’m sure their overweight mothers will bring them back to reality–after all that’s what happens to that perfect figure when you go through 9 months of pigging out because you’re eating for two.

It’s bothered me ever since I got on the web and started posting my cartoons begging for attention that some of my success with public acknowledgement got me zip in the financial department. The reason being is that while particular websites highlighted my work they didn’t give a share of ad revenue.

This is going back to 2000. Currently we have community blogs that allow revenue share like Today.com and while you’re not likely to get rich, but you would get a nice chunk of change if one of your pieces received a surge in traffic. When you create something extraordinary you can at least profit from it.

One of my oddest successes was a small flash cartoon done right after 9/11 called The Taliban Women’s Revolt. Originally I was paid for the nonexclusive rights to the Flash toon by a client who specialized in the kind of content you would have to turn the safe search off on Google Images to see. The amount: 250 bucks. Not too bad.

Since I still retained the rights for The Taliban Women’s Revolt I figured I might as well get some publicity for my time waster site Swensonfunnies.com . As I mentioned, I was begging for attention. So I submitted the animation to Newgrounds.com, Ifilm.com and several smaller video sites. The views soared from there and the toon has well over 2 million hits.

But that 2 million or more hits meant nothing except some positive feedback, “Hey, that was funny, animate some more like that.” Where was my share of the ad money that resulted from all of the views to the cartoon?  Nothing.

I’ve been thinking about how much money the average user makes MySpace, Facebook and smaller social networking sites simply by hanging out and creating content in the form of user pages, blog posts and images. It’s in the billions I’m sure. Where’s our cut?

At least YouTube gives its video makers a cut of ad share revenue off of clicks when they have their videos posted. It’s honestly not a lot unless you have a YouTube show that is soaring in the ratings, but it’s something.

I guess the smart web entrepreneurs made money off other people while I was busy just being an artist. I was never a business person and have only now since grasped how much artists and writers lose to companies who simply manage content and find ways to get people to do it for free. Social Networking is increasing in benefits to those who can steer it but the steering will increase in difficulty the larger these social sites get.

The days of the individual website may be numbered. They may be feel like nineties antiques as social networking sites exponentially grow their content to overwhelm the web. It’s a blessing and a curse.

All I really want is to go back in time and demand my share of the loot for those 2 million hits to my Flash cartoon.

Methodshop.com has a story on the “Domino’s Disgusting Employees Video.”  First off the original video can be seen on this page. And the response video on this page.

In a nutshell, if you haven’t heard, two idiots at a Domino’s Pizza in Conover, North Carolina filmed themselves goofing off which included a guy sticking stuff up his nose and putting it on a sandwich. Whether they actually served it or not is up for debate, but they sure look like the type of people that would.

Instead of Domino’s trying to censor the video, they played it smart. They put out a response video which made the employee perpetrators look like morons we would not want to associate with. I mean really, who are they making fun of–customers who eat pizza. That’s all of us!

I despise dumbass teenagers who spit in food, I saw it happen when I worked at Burgerville in Oregon when I was nineteen. It doesn’t matter how much of an A-hole the customer is, that’s above and beyond what is acceptable retaliation. Get their Visa card number instead and order some music downloads or something.

My only complaint is the host of the response video, Patrick Doyle who is the president of Domino’s, doesn’t make eye contact with the camera. He’s obviously reading off some quickly made cue cards. For a guy who’s the president of a major pizza franchise he might want to get some speaking lessons. At least dart your eyes back and forth–we’ll know you’re reading but that’s okay as long as you look into the camera every once in awhile.

It’s interesting that most cultural critics, usually on the religious conservative side, have decried the internet generation as crude, self-involved, and socially inept (simply because they communicate through blogs, chatrooms and discussion boards), but it looks like the opposite is true. The YouTube community railed against these Domino’s employees with response videos of their own. Going through a handful of them I basically see the same opinion: that those Domino’s employees were gross and what they did was uncalled for.

Pizza is an American dish that should not be trifled with. Do we really have to worry about someone putting boogers on the pepperoni? Have some respect so we can all continue to enjoy a slice.

I caught a newsbit on “E” entertainment network about VSX, which is the new fitness apparel line from Victoria’s Secret. If you as a woman are depressed by how much you don’t look like those skinny models, now you can try on their exercise clothes and see how much that motivates you to do cardio.

Isn’t it bad enough that Victoria’s Secret sends out those monthly catalogs to wives, only for their husbands to snatch them up and masturbate to? There’s no way the average woman is going to fit into a bra and panties like those models. Now I guess the idea is that you buy the fitness wear before the lingerie because, well, you’re too fat for the lingerie.

If all goes well, I predict that Victoria’s Secret could branch out from VSX to diet food plans similar to Jenny Craig. “Eat what the models eat and look great in your thong.” So they’ll send you some lettuce shreddings and a vomit bag for the box of twinkies you’ll fall into temptation over right around midnight.

I guess we can’t help it. We like looking at perfect bodies and women like dreaming they have the perfect bodies. Buying the catalog lingerie is about as close as some women will get to fulfilling that wish. On the other hand, while most women can’t compete with the runway angels, they can look great in revealing clothing and a bra that pushes up their bosom past their neck. Guys won’t complain about that, unless excess flesh is seeping out the seams and flapping in the wind.

As for the exercise wear, it is in the test phase according to this post. I honestly don’t know if it will succeed but I think it stands a good chance. VS is all about image and achieving that image–makes sense that they sell the clothing you’ll sweat in, and later cry in as you stand on the scale.

If you’ve been reading this blog, you know my beef with T-shirt Hell and their fake going out of business sale which they say was a joke, but by selling 100,000 shirts (their estimate) to “suckers” (how they think of their customers) we know their “sale” by another term–fraud!

In a time when the economy is in the toilet, what they did was a dirty trick that still smells and was a huge letdown for people who looked up to them for being one of the original fearless internet vendors.

Now Sunshine Megatron, the T-Shirt Hell owner is no better than a corporate a-hole ripping the public off. Sunshine selling subversive T-shirts to white college kids in the name of free speech is like when record executives sold gangsta rap to spoiled white kids in suburbia. It’s all fake and it’s time to see through it.

So now it seems they’ve put the word out that they’re hiring: For all the web designers/graphic artists who lost their jobs recently or who are having trouble getting freelance work in this economy or are looking for a job that allows you to work from home in your crotchless underpants, while optimizing pictures of hot chicks wearing our shirts, time to make your move.  We need you and are hiring.

Okay, since you guys lied to your customers what makes us think you won’t lie to freelancing artists and designers? I’ve already seen one comment on this blog about a reader who submitted a T-shirt idea for the 500.00 prize and their idea popped up awhile later without this person getting paid. Maybe it’s a coincidence, but how would you know? With a bad reputation you are constantly suspecting T-Shirt Hell of foul play.

The economy is bad, but I say F*** ‘em.

Elance.com has hundreds of freelance jobs and you can work from home, many of which offer good pay. T-Shirt Hell will allow you to sit home and jerk off to their oh so cool pictures they want you to crop in Photoshop, but are you sure you can count on them paying what they owe and in a timely fashion? I wouldn’t trust them.

 If you’re going to do it–be a T-shirt Hell grunt–and risk getting pissed on as well as verbally abused, get them to sign a contract. Most likely they already have a contract of their own for you to sign in their favor. Like I said, rich jerks have lawyers.

The Rubik’s Cube is back–did it ever disappear? It will be released as “Rubik’s 360,” which means it will be round and drive people insane trying to figure it out except for those whiz kids who will YouTube their puzzling triumphs.

Other novelties from the eighties have not stood the test of time like Rubik’s Cube. You can still find the original cube as well as knock-off tributes in game stores. And if you’re like me, you’ve picked one up on an impulse thinking you’ll finally get all sides to match up instead of the lame “one side” you could only do as a kid.  It’ll never happen!

Unless you study and who has time for that. So another Rubik’s Cube ends up in the closet.

The Cube was actually invented in the spring of 1974 by Erno Rubik. He wanted to find a way to keep several tiny cubes together as you turned and twisted them so that the sided colors became mixed up. Then came the fun of trying to match the colors back again. You could also cheat and take the colored stickers off and place them appropriately–though as I think about it that must have been a knock-off cube my Mom bought me. I was always getting the “knock-off” toys as a kid.

Erno applied for his patent in 1975 and it was accepted in 1977. The timing was right because there were two other patents on the table for similar inventions, one of which was approved before Erno, but didn’t function in quite the same way and was rejected by toy companies.

Only Erno Rubik’s Cube would be embraced by the public–and with how weird the Eighties was with novelties, it became an icon.

Earlier this month I relayed the information sent to me via email from T-shirt Hell that the owner had decided to close the site. See: T-Shirt Hell is Out of Business. Now I’m going to make the case that the same T-shirt Hell owner has committed fraud by deceiving his customers and his fan base.

The reason being is that yesterday I received a follow-up email from T-shirt Hell coninciding with their ”closing date”  which thanked everyone for their support of free speech and their business. Then there was a link that said: “Here’s the bad news.” 

On the linked to web page it starts with this: T-Shirt Hell going out of business? Really? Because of some hate mail? Are you f**king kidding me?

In other words the whole thing was a scam to sell a record number of T-shirts in a short amount of time. To me that constitutes fraudulent behavior. The owner claims it’s just a prank. Normally pranks don’t result in selling 100,000 plus T-shirts to customers who were either trying to be supportive or trying get a collector’s item.

Brand name businesses have “Going out of Business” sales all the time and then restructure. There is a lot of legal wrangling but essentially they do have to declare bankruptcy and there is a definite price to pay for doing so. The difference here is that T-shirt Hell lied to its customers in order to make a profit and never went out of business. It wasn’t even a change of heart–the whole scheme was premeditated.

Originally the T-shirt Hell owner said he was closing shop not due to loss of revenue but simply because he was tired of his business and wanted to move on to something new. If you read the original announcement post I wrote I didn’t believe that the reason they were closing shop was due to “hatemail.” I figured like any creative business owner sometimes you get sick of it all when it becomes a success and want to try something else. Apparently I’m a “sucker” for believing him, along with all the rest of his customers.

Here’s how Sunshine Megatron (what the owner calls himself) puts it:

Let’s call it my own personal stimulus package (besides my normal, daily “personal stimulus” if you know what I’m sayin). In 3 weeks, I’ve done EXACTLY what is needed to stimulate any economy..and that is to get people to open their wallets. Not only did the last 3 weeks save jobs at T-Shirt Hell, they’ve opened up a whole new world to the people who had never bought our shirts until now.

Freedom of speech, my ass. It was all about greed. Profits were obviously down and Mr. Sunshine didn’t like taking the economic hit that we all are feeling. Possibly he was having trouble paying the mortgage on his vacation home?

Imagine if anyone else pulled this stunt to sell huge numbers of their product within a month? Wouldn’t there be an investigation? Isn’t it similar to the corporate scandals we keep hearing about–lie to the public and do anything to make a buck?

T-Shirt Hell was one of the original internet troublemakers that stood against political correctness, corporate mindsets, and content middle class American values. I’ll remember them in that manner. Now they’re no better than the peacenik hippies who sold out to wear a suit and tie. And from the feedback comments on their site I can see a lot of gullible customers who are laughing it off. Those are the real “suckers.” What they should be doing is saying “Ha-ha, I want a refund on my shirt.”

I’m all for making money, lots of it and I believe there a gray areas and compromises along the way to making that money. What T-Shirt Hell did, however, I can’t stomach. I believe they owe their customers an apology instead of justifying their scam. And it’s not a prank! It is a scam!

T-Shirt Hell will get away with it for a few reasons:

1. They have money which gives them access to lawyers.
2. Not enough people will complain to the Better Business Bureau to file a case.
3. A large percentage of T-Shirt Hell customers may be too young to understand they’ve been ripped off–yes, they got their T-Shirts but under false pretenses. It’s like me buy a collector’s item from a manufacturer who says it’s a limited edition, then he manufactures more decreasing the value of your item.
4. A large percentage of T-Shirt Hell customers are potheads and racists. They’re too stupid to complain. Again, check the feedback page and you’ll see customers laughing it off as if it was alright simply because this is T-shirt Hell and they expect such antics. You idiots just made a rich guy richer and you’re probably working your ass off in a low paying job.
5. The T-Shirt Hell owner will probably make fun of anyone who claims they were deceived and tell them they “can’t take a joke.” He seems to have the mentality of a bullying highschooler who picks apart anything you say and ridicules you for it. I’ve worked for clients like this and while I can handle their abuse, they are egotistical and annoying.
6. I may be the only one who calls it like it is–Fraud! I may also be one of the few who likes the T-Shirt Designs, likes the pushing of limits when it comes to humor and free speech, but still thinks the company’s business practices are now suspect. Sunshine Megatron will claim free speech martyrdom towards any of his accusers when in fact the issue is not free speech per the Tee Designs, but outright lying to customers. This isn’t a prank, it was a money-making scheme.

So there you have it. Yeah, I’m pissed off, but for the right reasons. I don’t care how outrageous a business is or if it is manned by a character who likes to push the envelope, when it comes to your customers you don’t take their money under false pretenses. You can be a-hole and still have good business practices. Sunshine Megatron is an a-hole with no integrity left.

What’s really disappointing is that somehow his groupies are going to think he’s “cool” for doing this. It’s nothing of the sort. If you had any individuality you would see through this ploy for what it is–a rich a-hole getting richer off of hard working people and spoiled college students who get their money from Mom and Dad.

I say to hell with T-shirt Hell. They’re no better than politicians, lawyers, or corporate fraudsters at this point. If you have a brain demand a refund for the shirt you bought.

I was floored when I got an email from T-Shirt Hell that they were going out of business. I thought this site would thrive and then kind of water down their infamous T-shirt designs as the ownership became older and calmed down. BUT NO! They are going down in flames of their own making.

According to the post on the site as to why they are going out of business the owner calling himself Sunshine Megatron states: “No, I’m not selling out to some douchebag corporate entity. No, we’re not being sued by any of the over 40 companies that have sent us cease and desists over the years. No, I’m not going to jail (yet) and no, it’s not because of the economy.”

 The reason seems to be that Sunshine is sick of idiots. But then with his designs you would think he would be used to that. Any popular humorist has to deal with people who think they can label you a bigot, hatemonger, and any other guilt word they can think of when they misinterpret who you are and you’re jokes.

He gives the example of a recent T-shirt slogan that said: “It’s Not Gay If You Beat Them Up Afterwards.” This of course prompted people to write in that it was a gay bashing shirt.

Sunshine claims it isn’t and I believe him due to the history of the site and because I think it can be interpreted literally and ironically. He refuses to explain his take on it which I think is to his delight. I could see it as a comment on wife beating or jail sex or a homophobic man who refuses to acknowledge he’s gay even though he’s having gay sex (if he beats his partner up afterwards he’s straight again).

But that’s what I liked about T-Shirt Hell. You would read the slogans and upon first impression they would seem wrong, so wrong they should not be sold. Then upon reflection it sinks in and you get the humor. People who wore these must have been daring because they were bound to find disciplinarian action. Either that or they were actual bigots who didn’t get the humor.

I believe the owner makes it clear later in the post that he wants to do something different and has plenty of money to do it with. That’s the real reason for him closing the doors. I can understand that. He hit it big with this company and now it’s time to try his hand at something else to see if he can do it again.

Which is what he should have said in the first place instead of whining about people being offended and that supposedly it was part of his decision-making process. I have no sympathy. His business sells around 3000 shirts a week and it was those people who protested that provided the best publicity. So if I were to take on Sunshine’s attitude then–please shut up and go count your f*****’ money!

As of Feb 10th T-Shirt Hell is out of business and right now they have a sale going on. So I might suggest for your pop culture collection of online hits to pick up a shirt–just for the hell of it!

If you’re not familiar with how controversial the slogans are I’ll leave you with a handful to offend you:

• Letting homeless people touch me for a quarter since 1984
• What about all the good things Hitler did?
• Slavery gets s**t done
• Swallow or it’s going in your eye
• Stop abortion - Kill sluts
• Kill yourself - all the cool kids are doing it
• If a fat girl falls in the woods, do the trees laugh?

Just out of curiosity I went looking for complaints against Disney. I know their lawyers and marketing team are very good at keeping bad news about The Mouse out of the headlines at all costs, but you can find all sorts of local news, histories, and personal complaints involving Disney and Death.

So here’s one tidbit. Marilyn Piazza is suing Disney Cruise Lines because her 78 year-old husband fell in the bathroom and later died in the hospital. She blames the design of the bathroom and the lack of proper medical attention by the Disney Cruise staff for killing him.

Here’s another complaint about one of the staff on a Disney Cruise who was trying to get with someone’s wife. A tall man, he apparently cleaned the rooms and would try to make some moves on her when she was alone. She complained to the head pursor but nothing was done about it. Of course she could be delusional and the man was a large homosexual with no intentions of having sex with her. Maybe he just wanted to talk…

Putting the cruise lines aside here’s a nice article on Disney World and Death. It covers a 77 year old woman collapsing at The Pirates of the Caribbean–my favorite ride–and some child deaths which have got to be horrific for parents. All they wanted to do was give their kid the best time to remember and then they come home with a body bag as a souvenir.

And lastly, this article has to be the most morbid of the bunch–but it’s hard to resist reading it. Disneyland and Death. ”Unfortunately, he slipped and, as the papers reported, was ‘found wedged between two cars with his head and the upper part of his body crushed’.” That was an incident on the famous people mover which happened in 1967.

It’s too bad Disney has to keep such a pristine image. With all of the incidents at their theme parks and cruise lines, the material would make for a good movie.

So, uh, there were 11,500 jobs lost today according to the home page of CNN, and oh what else do I see there–”Digital TV Could Be Delayed By Vote.” All of a sudden these Washington idiots are running around worrying that Ma and Pa out in the boonies may not get reception on their TVs.

 This is their fault to begin with. Why the hell is the federal government mandating updates on technology? Is this what they were doing as the economy slowly tanked. Are we really worried that people are going to be stuck with an analog signal because some broadcaster felt they didn’t need to update to digital.

AND get this per CNN: “The FCC ran out of money in recent weeks for the $40 coupons to help people buy converters for their analog TVs.”

Good Lord! Why are we wasting government money on buying people entertainment equipment?! This is ridiculous. If you can’t afford a new digital tv–which you don’t need if you use Comcast Cable here for 12.99 a month for the basic channels–then maybe you should use another free government service. It’s called a Library! News and entertainment under one roof. They even loan movies.

 I am a TV fan and yet this pisses me off. This is not the government’s business. Entertainment is one area where the free market reigns supreme and if you’re poor, I’m sorry. There are cheap alternatives and even free alternatives to getting your entertainment and news. In an emergency you can still listen to a radio and most likely if there was disaster everyone would be gathered together watching one TV anyhow.

What a waste of taxpayer time and money. And now they’ve delayed the process because they can’t even manage handing out coupons for digital receivers. Friggin’ ridiculous.